The Cat Runs Away

This is a continuation post.  I recommend you start at the beginning of this mini-story, the move on to the middle, and THEN come on back here here so that you'll understand what "cat" this is all about.  Next post will actually be the final.  I know... I keep drawing this out, but I can only do so much of dealing with the crud at once.

That night one of the many murders was accomplished.  Thus far it is among the most gruesome for me.  I know this whole thing may be "no big thang" to you.  I do, truly, know that lots of women have more horrendous trials than this.  I do.

But you know, the THEORY OF RELATIVITY* (the star is a totally different link, fun, right?) is not exclusively applicable in Physics.  All too often folks try to apply it to morality... doesn't work there, but humanistic relativism would argue it does, of course.  If you know God, you know that just aint so.  I'll leave THAT there and move along.

The wounds I have sustained are legion.  I actually hurt myself when beating up the speakers, but didn't know it when it happened.  I had a scratch on one shoulder, a cut on an ear lobe, and a huge bruise on one calf that took more than three weeks to heal up and go away entirely!  But the worst of the damage is internal... contained and defined in my emotions and thoughts.  Oh, would that the only damage was to my flesh... and a result of my own actions!

As a result of this whole thing, I completed a metamorphosis from sort of cute girl to Monster Girl.  And, unfortunately, I don't see it as a reversible sort of thing.  Christ's Atonement has (and is) bringing to pass healing of the pain.  It's mostly gone, most of the time (when I allow His Atonement to work in me), but it will not erase the image I saw or the knowledge of what Beauty Man did.  It is this that has finished up a process (this metamorphosis) begun when I first learned and knew for sure about his lies... and knew the whispers were true.

I guess, in a way, it's sort of liberating to feel truly ugly.  Perhaps this is a stretch... and yes, I am trying to make something good out of crap.  But maybe if I can simply accept my ugly Monster Girl-ness, I can do something truly good with what has happened and make beauty from my own personal Monster ugliness.

I need a break.  I'll finish up next time.