His Shame IS My Shame

Part of the reason I need to keep this blog anonymous is because of the main lesson of the Spirit (God's Holy Spirit), which keeps thrumming away in my mind and heart.  The lesson is about unity.  I see every so clearly that his, my Beauty Man's, shame is actually MY shame.

The Spirit keeps whispering to my heart and mind, "You are ONE."
                                                                                  "We are ONE."
                                                                                  "If ye are not ONE, ye are not MINE."

You see, what I like to think of as many years ago now, I had a thing with pornography.  It was a nasty dirty thing that I hid from everyone - even myself, in a way.  I liked it.  Both the standard as well as gay porn.  So, you see... the anonymity is to shelter me AND my man.

I do want to add that as soon as I realized viewing porn was a form of cheating, I did stop.  Beauty Man never knew I looked at it.  He really wouldn't have cared.  I masterbated AFTER we had sex for the whole first year of our relationship, after the "honeymoon" ended, I suppose, BECAUSE he didn't care enough to give me an orgasm when we had sex... and, honestly, I didn't care enough about myself to demand it for all that time.  (Currently we have MAMA-Daddy fun time.  Mama coming first (literally and in the wording-way) otherwise she might not get to.)  THAT should've been a BIG indicator that I was thinking/planning to marry a man that would not care much or think much about me over the course of the intended marriage.  I guess, when you're a Monster Girl and someone actually wants to marry you, you jump on the opportunity.  I sure didn't think I was doing that, but perhaps I was.  I don't even know anymore.

anyway...

I am learning so much about how we humans choose one another... husband and wife.  Even though we may not know it, there are key samenesses.  Perhaps the reasons we attempt to become one with those things we don't know are in whomever we do marry... maybe it's because those hidden bits must be revealed (especially to our own consciousness) and what better way to recognize our own "mote" (or "beam" as the case may be!), but by viewing the beam in our spouse's eye.

Tori, my "twin" online friend, has a great post about this very topic.  Since we think so much alike and (I think) we write similarly, I think you'll like what she says about recognizing our faults in others and what happens.  She's got a couple posts about that sort of thing.

Next time I'm going to share a poem about this stuff.  Please don't laugh too hard.  :)

P.S.
I know I almst didn't make my MONDAY posting today... yikes.  Need to do better.  I really am striving, ya know!