I See Cycles

There is a season for every thing.  It is interesting how I'm seeing and recognizing cycles in my own life and experience.  One new-ish cycle I've only recently come to truly understand is one of the most troubling because of the great (negative) impact it has on my whole family.

The sin cycle.  Okay, so that's super general.  Let me get more specific... my husband's BIG sin cycle.  There are the daily sins... those make an impact, but don't cause seismic shocks that the whole family is jarred by.  It's the big sins... like lying, stealing, adultery through porn viewing... these are the BIG sins I'm thinking about.

I've realized that when my husband does something big there are a few things that happen.  First, when I find out about it, I become full of righteous indignation (especially those that hurt our family) and freak out to one degree or another.  Then I usually get depressed because, ultimately, there is NOTHING I can do to improve the situation.  I cannot stop Beauty Man from lying.  I cannot stop him from stealing from our family.  I cannot stop him from looking at porn.  Oh, trust me... I DO try.  In doing so I experience a punishment for the wrong he has committed... in trying to make sure he doesn't hurt me again, I am limited because I "must" police him.  I "must" because it's part of trying to feel okay with all the crud I have to deal with and trying to lengthen out the days between one earthquake and another.  Anyway...

Next, Beauty Man starts to focus his negative feelings on work instead of dealing with what he's done wrong.  He projects his distain on his job.  Eventually he either quits or gets fired.  Usually sooner than later.  It's so freakin' obvious.  I see it clear as day - now that things are lining up as they have at least 4 times before. Why has it taken me so long to see this horrible cycle?  I have to believe it's because I just didn't want to see all the connections.  Seeing them doesn't enable me to alter the situation.  I can speak encouraging words until I'm blue in the face, but my husband won't hear them as long as he is determined to be down about something.

That's one of the big differences between us.  When Beauty Man gets "down," there's no gettin' him up until he's darn good an' ready.  Now me... if someone tries to cheer me when I'm down, I'm all for it.  I may sink down when the cheerer is no longer around, but I'm not one to TRY to stay mad when there is happiness to feel.  Ya know?

So, I wonder how many of you see cycles in your life?  Are there any like this that you see plainly, but have no ability to alter at all?